so while i was living at home with no job, my parents kept complaining how i should start working already.

now that im getting a job, theyre complaining that since i have to rent out a place, i wont have anymore money since thats where my paycheck will be going.

theyd prefer that i live that home and work somewhere closer to home.

“FUCK THAT” does not even begin to express my emotion at this point.

why cant they just be happy for me? seriously ive never believed in myself at all my entire life until i had to force myself to. because they clearly dont approve of any of the shit ive done.

i seriously cant make them happy. im convinced of that. even if i was some big shot engineer or a nurse or doctor, theyd always say how im not as good as their-friends-son-or-daughter-who-is-around-my-age.

and when i say my parents, i mean my mom.

my dads happy as shit that i have a job.

my mom will just never be satisfied.

so tired of trying to win her approval of me. my entire life, the only way theyve supported me is financially. that sounds like a harsh statement but its true. never have they said “im proud of you” or “you can handle anything” it was always the small put downs like “are you sure you can do that?” or “just do this so its easier” thats all ive heard my entire life. so bad that its seeped into my being and i dont even realize the gravity of it. i put people down all the time. people i love. and it doesnt even strike me as harsh or mean. i just thought it was something normal. 

but whatever

im done trying to impress them. ill do fine in my life without them saying im proud of you. in fact i dont need anything like that from anyone.

ive pushed myself and my resources to get this far. i know can make it much further on my own.

eh